Show Notes:
Do you ever feel like you’re constantly saying “yes” to things you don’t want to do? Every “yes” comes at a cost—it’s a “no” to something else. In this episode, you’ll discover the power of “no” and learn practical strategies to set healthy boundaries and protect your most valuable resources: your time and energy.
In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
- The Power of “No”: The essential truth that every time you say “yes,” you are automatically saying “no” to something else, including your own values and priorities.
- Protect Your Resources: How learning to say no safeguards your time, energy, and attention so you can focus on what truly matters.
- The Crucial Link: The connection between knowing your core values and having the confidence to say no without guilt.
- Practical Phrases: Simple, polite, and effective suggestions for how to say “no” gracefully, without being rude or unhelpful.
- The Psychological Edge: How practicing these responses can build the mental strength you need to respond with intention in a moment of pressure.
Resources Mentioned:
- There were no specific resources mentioned in this episode.
Your Next Step
- Take Action: Think about one thing you need to say “no” to this week. Practice how you’ll say it so you can protect your time and honor your priorities.
- Engage with Us: If you’re listening on Spotify, share your favorite tip for saying “no” in the comments below!
- Subscribe: Join us for our next series all about consistency, the key to making progress in your life.
Episode Transcript
Hello, my friend, and welcome to episode nine, claiming your day podcast. Glad you’re here today. I want to ask you a simple question. Do you ever feel like you’re constantly saying yes, the things that you really don’t want to say yes to, or. Or that you’re saying yes when in the back of your mind you’re thinking, hey, I really don’t have the time to do this. It’s going to take time away from what I should be doing.
There’s a lot of reasons why I shouldn’t say yes, but I’m going to say yes anyways because of some sort of reason. Well, it’s easy to get caught up into saying yes to a lot of things, but every yes comes at a cost. It really does. And so today we’re going to be talking about the power of no. The power of no. And how to use it. How to use it gracefully.
We’re not going to be mean. We’re not going to just say no to everything across the board. No. But how to say no gracefully so that ultimately you can say yes to the things that you want most. Your values, your priorities. You’re going to say yes to claiming your day so that it can be what you want it to be and what you need it to be for your life.
By saying no and saying no gracefully. To claim your day, to be intentional, to live with intentionality so that you can direct your life to go how you want it to go. Make the most of your time for your values and your priorities, you have to be willing to say no. You have to be willing to say no, because if you say yes to one thing, you’re automatically saying no to something else.
If you say yes to help a friend with something around their house, when you’re automatically saying no to anything else that you could be doing during that time. If you say yes to helping out with an organization at your kid’s school, which is a good thing, I’m not trying to bash that. But if you say yes to helping out with an organization at your kid’s school, let’s say, on a monthly basis, then you’re automatically saying no to anything else that would come during that time.
So. And learn to say no. What it does is it protects your time, your energy, ultimately it protects your priorities, too. And those are very important things. If you want to live with intentionality, if you want to direct your life to go the way you want it to go, you have to respect your time, energy, priorities, attention, you know, even your money. You have to make sure that you’re using these.
These resources fit what’s most important for your life. And to do that, you’ve got to say no to the things that don’t truly align with all those. And it seems like with all the demands these days for, for our time and how busy everybody is, it seems like I would say one of the most important things is when you learn to say no. And you say it gracefully.
You know, it really is. It protects and safeguards your valuable time. Because time, time is a fleeting resource. It really is. You know, we’re never going to be able to get it. Once you spend it, you’re never going to get it back. But if you can protect that time, then that’s also going to help you to protect yours. Your energy. Because when you’re spent and so busy just not able to keep up because you’ve said yes to a lot of things, then you’re going to feel drained.
You’re going to feel overwhelmed. It’s going to be like a scramble to try to keep up with things. And then when you’re in that drained, scrambled, overwhelmed, you know that’s going to ruin your ability to focus, to stay on track and focus on your priorities, your values, what’s most important to you. So we’re going to learn how to. We’re going to go through some ideas on how to say no so that you can live intentionally aligned with your priorities.
I mentioned your priorities and your values a couple times. So one of the good ways to start with saying no is to think back, reflect on what’s most important to you, what matters to you the most. Think about your goals, your values, those true priorities that you have in your life. Get those in your mind. Because when you’re going to say no to somebody or something or some request, if you know and you’re thinking about what’s truly most important to you, then it’s not about just denying everything.
It’s really, you’re not saying no, you’re saying yes. You’re saying yes to your values and your priorities. So make sure you identify your priorities. We’ve talked about that in a previous episode, and we’ll be talking about that a whole lot more in this podcast, too. But making sure that you clearly identify your priorities and then set boundaries around those clearly and respectfully. Because you’ve got your priorities, you define what they are, then you need to protect them.
And by protecting them, we’re talking about saying no to the things that will require you. If you said yes to these other things, then you would ultimately say no to your values and your priorities. So when you put boundaries around them, your values and your priorities, then you’re saying, hey, I can’t say yes to things that will impact me, honoring my priorities. So now I just want to share just some.
There’s some simple suggestions. Because a lot of times when we’re saying yes to things, it’s a lot of times because we want to be kind, we want to help people out, we want to be respectful to their people. There might be all kinds of social pressure or something like that to say yes. And so a big benefit to being able to say no is thinking about your priorities, having those boundaries around them.
But in that moment, how are you going to say no to somebody that’s asking something of you and to do it in a polite, respectful way? Well, I’m just going to throw out some suggestions. Use what works for you. Practice them. Create ones that are more suited to you. How you speak or your vernacular or the situation. When you practice some of these before the event, before getting asked to do something, then you’ll already have what’s comfortable to you, and you’ll have practiced it a little bit.
So it’ll make it easier in that moment to say no gracefully. The first little suggestion I have is just be direct but kind. And a simple way to do that would be, I appreciate the offer, but I just can’t commit at this time. Or I appreciate the offer, but I’m unable to commit at this time. Thank you for asking me, but I can’t commit right now. Or you can offer an alternative.
I can’t do that, but I can suggest someone who might be able to help you out. You know, any of these that I’m going to throw out there, you can combine them. You know, thank you for asking me, but I can’t do it. I do know somebody that might be able to help you out, though. I’d be happy to recommend them to you. Here’s another way where you can kind of buy some time.
You know, let me check my schedule and get back to you. Now, that one. That might be a little bit too cold or actually, I have a lot going on right now, and before I commit to something, I want to make sure I can fully commit to it. Let me just look at all the things I have going on and see if we can make it work. And I’ll get back to you here tomorrow.
Or you could briefly explain your reasons, if that works for you. Actually, I got some other commitments at that time. And so I can’t say yes now. Like anything, anytime we’re trying to, to do something new or to be able to do something that’s tough, challenging, anytime you’re going to try to accomplish something that you might have some pushback, some challenges, or anything like that, it’s really good to practice.
And when we practice things, especially practice saying things, it’s not that you don’t know how to do it, but what you’re doing is you’re making it easier for you to do it in the moment. And from a little bit of a geeky psychology perspective, when you practice doing something, you’re actually creating that mental neural network. Those connections in your brain are getting stronger the more that you practice it.
And so when you’re in a challenging moment, maybe the pressure’s on you to say yes to something, or you’re a little nervous, a little apprehensive, a little anxious, you feel a little bit of pressure. When you’ve practiced something a couple times, even just role playing with a friend or a mentor, or even in the mirror, when you’ve practiced a couple times, you’ve made those connections in your brain a little bit stronger.
And you’ve also practiced not just saying it, but you’ve practiced thinking about your true priorities and having those boundaries around it. So when you’ve practiced that, your brain’s actually stronger, better, and more readily available to help you to do what you want to do, to help you to respond in that way, that’s going to help you to honor your priorities. So I really do recommend just practicing saying no to these things.
If it’s a challenge for you, then make sure you practice it. And another thing that’s going to kind of help you out, especially with being a little bit graceful about it, is you’re keeping all the responsibility, you’re being responsible for the no. And with that, you’re using that I statement, I don’t have the capacity right now or I can’t commit to that. And that way you’re not putting it on somebody else.
And that also comes across even better. So I want you to think about it now, thinking about your priorities, your true values. Think about that. What’s something this upcoming week that you really should say no to that you need to say no to so that you can protect your time and your priorities. What’s something that might get asked of you that would really help if you were able to just say no to in a graceful way so that you can protect your time and your priorities so that you can honor your values.
Saying no can be difficult. For some people, it’s easier. For some people, it’s harder. You know, we’re all different at the same time, though. We all have to be able to say no to things. Because if we say yes to everything, ultimately we say no to everything else. Like, if you say yes to one thing, you’re saying no to something different. It’s just about being intentional. This whole podcast is all about being intentional.
So if you’re going to say yes to something, that’s great. But just know as soon as you say yes to that, you’re saying no to other things. Make sure your yeses are where you want them and your no’s are where you need them. Like, you have to. I don’t like always telling you what you have to do. I hardly ever want to ever tell you what you have to do.
But you have to protect your time, your energy, your attention, your focus. You have to do that so that you can honor your values and so that you can stay true to your real priorities. Now, you can do that by saying no and saying no gracefully. It’s essential for your intentional living. Set the boundaries around your priorities so that you can honor your values. And a good way to do that is just by being able to say no.
When you say no to the things that would ultimately impact your values and your priorities, then it’s going to help you to feel more in control of your time, your schedule. It’s going to help you to reduce that feeling of overwhelm and being drained. You’re going to stay focused on your priorities better because you’re saying no to the other things that would impact them. You’re going to develop those respectful, healthy boundaries, and that actually leads to more healthy relationships because your boundaries are clear and you’re respectful about them.
Saying no to the things that would impact you and take you off track. It’s going to help you to live a life that’s more aligned with your values in the life that you want to live and who you want to be saying no to the things that would impact that. It’s going to help you to live that life that you want to be intentional. So now, if you’re listening to this podcast on Spotify, you can comment below, share one of your favorite tips or how you go about saying no gracefully so that you can have those boundaries, so that you can honor your values and live according to your priorities.
You know, what’s one boundary or one no that you’re going to say this week. You get ready for it. Practice can really help you to claim your day and to live your best life, to live intentionally that you can live the life you want to live. All right, my friend. Hey, here. Coming up real soon, the next episode, we’re going to start a series. We’re going to start a series, and it’s all going to be about consistency.
You know that. You know, being consistent is going to be your ticket, your key to making the progress that you want to make for your life. So join us in the series. We’re going to have a handful of episodes. We’re going to dive deep into it. I know these short episodes. We can’t go too deep. Well, that’s why we’re going to have a series about this, just so that you can develop the consistency that you might need so that you can claim your day.
Live intentionally. Live your best life. All right, here’s to you, my friend. Can we talk to you next episode and make sure you claim your day?